@mishakey: I can tell a police officer is gay by the way he writes me a ticket instead of letting me off with a warning.
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@EJT___: When I was younger, I always wanted to become a Gregorian monk. Unfortunately, I never had the chants
@robwhisman: if you see suicide squad be sure to stay after the credits. lots of people leave half empty containers of popcorn and you can just have them
@daemonic3: Mr. Trump, who's your Secretary of State? TRUMP: To deal with China, one that speaks Mandarin [remembers to appeal to women] or Womandarin
@_wendyb07: Never feel more attractive than when my picture of cornbread gets almost as many likes as my selfie. "She's ok, but she's no cornbread."