@ericsshadow: I can tell exactly how much someone weighs by how much noise they make when I push them down the stairs.
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@joelu72: [being mugged] ME: can i keep things of sentimental value? ROBBER: ok ME:[pulling things from wallet] my favorite cash...my lucky debit card
@HatfieldAnne: Let's have some fun! I'm up for anything today!* *As long as there aren't too many stairs.
@WGladstone: Lady Gaga got engaged on Valentine's Day with a heart-shaped ring, indicating her fiance shares her love for bold originality.