@dubstep4dads: i cant believe ashton kutcher made the apple computer and iphones. thank you ashton
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@Mr_Kapowski: [gym] Trainer: You here to get cut? Me: Uhh no, I'm already circumcised and if that's covered under my membership, I want a reduced bill
@ilovepie84: My Boss called me immature today so I gave him a wedgie and made fun of his ugly family.
@Chumpstring: SON: can I yell bomb at the airport DAD: no SON: I can yell boom DAD: boom's ok SON: how about "my mom's a lesbian now" DAD: please don't
@MarlonBrandNO: ME: I wish I could just go back to the good old day FRIEND: don't you mean good old days? ME: no, I just had the one