@AudreyPorne: I can't believe I shaved my toes for this
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Kyle1092: So I neutered my car yesterday "You, what?" Neutered my car "..." It's another word for fixed "I wish I never gave you that thesaurus"
@iSamJack: It's just sad how often I see zookeepers breaking their own 'Dont Feed the Animals' rule.
@jenniferfralic: The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.