@YeaThanksObama: I can't believe Obama just sat back and let this happen. #ThanksObama
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@dulcetry: I just want to be rich enough where I snap my fingers and 7 people fight over who gets to make me my next grilled cheese.
@reeni730: Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
@OrangeFact: [First Date] HER: I love dogs. ME: [Trying to impress her] Waiter, give us your finest Labrador - medium rare.
@murrman5: [to pharmacist getting my pills that make me stop talking about ET] long day? "ugh I can't wait to go home" know who else wanted to go home