@YeaThanksObama: I can't believe Obama just sat back and let this happen. #ThanksObama
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@Sarcasticsapien: Coworker: If you had to do it all over again, would you? Me: Yeah. Cw: You would? Why? Me: Because I know what the words "had to" means.
@gruffybeard: 630: *wakes up to take dog for walk 632: *pours coffee and checks twitter 749: *steps in dog shit on my kitchen floor
@SharkJelly: [At Adele Concert] Adele: Hello from the other siiiiiide Me (shouting): Tell us your surname