@YeaThanksObama: I can't believe Obama just sat back and let this happen. #ThanksObama
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@DanMentos: billy joel: we didn’t start the fire detective: I haven’t mentioned a fire billy joel: shit
@seamussaid: I may toss the cat into my teen's room when he snoozes his alarm if he fails to check his pillow for catnip before bed that's his own fault
@_Tempo11: Sure I get excited when he unzips his pants. I'm pretending it's the sound of his body bag.
@dongfuture: Can you say your strengths? “Your strengths” No like what are they “My legs maybe” No, like for work “Oh lol sorry, idk prob communication”