@dmc1138: I can't believe these kids at this lemonade stand expect me to provide my own vodka.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@leehopkins: Anti-gay preacher comes to Iceland. Locals buy all tickets to his event in Reykjavik, and then don't turn up, leaving empty arena. Class.
@Matt_the_1st: If Seal was my friend, I would never miss an opportunity to ask him, "Wanna go clubbing?"
@ThRealBallsDeep: *Makes sure the new girl at work sees how much pineapple I eat at lunch* *winks*
@alrightbob: "Don't move or she's dead" was the last thing the wife heard before the husband started tap dancing.