@TheTobbie: I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND WHY SOMEBODY WOULD BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON-oh, never mind, I found it...
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@Cajun_Ninja: Met this nice girl at the mall today. Her name was No. and coincidentally her number was also No.
@XplodingUnicorn: I walked into a gas station & a woman handed me a free slice of pizza Either Iowa is the nicest state in America or I've just been poisoned
@Chumpstring: SON: can I yell bomb at the airport DAD: no SON: I can yell boom DAD: boom's ok SON: how about "my mom's a lesbian now" DAD: please don't