@sween: I can't imagine how stressed Americans are feeling right now. I'm Canadian and I'm chugging maple syrup and just punched a moose.
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@JonasPolsky: I was about to commit suicide, but then a Nicki Minaj song came on the radio -- so I committed suicide twice.
@JasonBerlin: Seems like ladies hate being asked how their Thanksgiving was, no matter how playfully I pat their stomachs.
@Cheeseboy22: My son just told me he's changing his clock to military time so he can stay up later. He is not a smart boy.