@01CandyQueen: I can't pet a cat without plotting world domination.
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@just1fool: My only real regret in life is not pretending to be a shark in a heavily populated swimming area. But there's still time.
@Gre_Gone: Jesus: One among you will betray me. John: No way dude. Matthew: No way dude. Judas: *thumbing through designer cross catalogue* Plausible.
@psybermonkey: [Family game night] Grandma: what are the rules? Me: omg for the last time, we spin the chamber and take turns shooting ourselves in the head
@tuckerflodman: [CIA] -We need you to kill the leader of Russia. "I'll be Putin a bullet in his head. Carl Marx my words!" -Alright! Who invited PunMan?!