@nedostup: I can't stand lactose intolerant people who work at ice cream parlors. They can dish it out but they can't take it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@samalmightysam: Grab a plate and throw it on the floor. Did it break? Yes? Ok, now tell it you're sorry. Good, now, did it unbreak? No? Now you understand.
@_sleepysmile: What's with this 'running with scissors' bullshit? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?
@nikkithecanuck: Anytime I get something stuck in my throat, I use beer. I call this the Heineken maneuver
@KalvinMacleod: If there's one thing children have taught me it's how to count down from 5 while pretending there's a huge consequence if I ever reach zero.