@J_Illunninati: I can't wait til my kids become adults so I can go over their houses & throw clean laundry all over the floor.
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@3sunzzz: Therapist: Are you a man or a mouse? Mickey: Quite frankly, I was hoping you could tell me.
@AnkCoupleTO: *84th flr* CW: You look sad, can I cheer you up? M: Heard Van Halen's "Jump"? CW: Sure! Me: Jump out that window and sing it on the way down
@EndhooS: Bee: I got a stinger bro! Dung beetle: Nice! [enters gods office] Sorry I'm late. Whats my special power? God: [clearly annoyed] Eating shit