@DomBorrett: I can't wait to find out who's playing Donald Trump in the next season of American Horror Story
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@Love_bug1016: I can't do this. I think I'm dying. Why does your face look like a donut? ~ me 30 minutes into dieting
@GuyThe_Guy: In Maryland we can't legally carry concealed weapons so our best defense against being murdered is the zig-zag runaway.
@wendyraepearce: My twitter crush just broke up with me for saying WWE wasn't real. The irony is not lost here.
@iinkedZombie: [courtroom] Me: "I OBJECT YOUR HONOR" Judge: on what grounds? "LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO" Prosecutor: he's good Judge: *slams gavel* case dismissed.