@DomBorrett: I can't wait to find out who's playing Donald Trump in the next season of American Horror Story
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@Darlainky: You can tell a lot about a person by eavesdropping in on their conversations in the bathroom.
@jackiembouvier: I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again.
@flashember: [Swims out to Sea] *sees shark* OH NO! *dolphins save me* Thanks dolphins! *dolphins ask for a tip [I'm broke] *they return me to the shark*
@MoistPork: There's no "I" in meat, but there's "me" and "eat", and I don't know how vegans can argue with that logic.