@NickSchug: I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote "dentists are liars" into my phone. Not really sure what the plan is with that.

@ThisOneSayz: Am I winning or losing at parenting if my 3yo says, "ooohhh chicken nuggets!" as I pull up to the security booth at a gated community?

@Home_Halfway: I told my friend he's a bad thief. He's not taking it well.

@TheAlexNevil: Me: How's it look? Doc: You have 2 months to live M: WHAT?? You're my dentist! D: Then you don't need to come back for a cleaning in 6 mos

@pakalupapito: dont judge a person by the color of their skin or by the content of their character but by the shape of their eyebrows