@TheCiscoKidder: I caught my son wiping his boogers on the couch which is gross because I don't want our boogers mixing.
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@beisswrandon: If he says "you're 1 in a million" it means he either has no knowledge of the world population or he thinks there are 7000 people like you
@ThatBrenna: West Side Story gave me the wrong impression. No one at this gang fight is a good dancer and I've been shot in the arm.
@tinatbh: Me: Wanna see pics of my dog? Person: No Me: Great! This is him playing. This is him sleeping. This is him being the CUTEST DOG EVER.
@oria2326: I am so used to automatic doors at work that when I come across one I have to physically open I just stand there like a dummy