@TheCiscoKidder: I caught my son wiping his boogers on the couch which is gross because I don't want our boogers mixing.
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@FunkyFresh_79: [Star Wars Episode VII scene] Princess Leia: I love you Han. Han Solo: *favs but doesn't reply*
@KyleMcDowell86: I don't like using the locker room at the gym cuz the guys always stare when they notice my gym bag is filled with lasagna
@o__0Dev: It took years for my gf to get me to put down the toilet seat. Though, I really don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place.
@WilliamAder: I'm no scientist, but if that ebola virus is communicable, that means WE CAN TALK TO IT.