@TheCiscoKidder: I caught my son wiping his boogers on the couch which is gross because I don't want our boogers mixing.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@lloydrang: People who tweet about politics should have to pass a small test: if i say "Oh, look, a dead bird," and you look UP, we take your phone away
@CatherineLMK: "Damnit!" -a burglar, discovering yet another drawer filled with dead batteries, take-out menus, and pen caps.