@xosm: I changed my phone ringtone to the doorbell sound bc I don't answer that either.
@TheMichaelRock: I still can't believe someone was hungry enough to try kale.
@blaha_Who: GF: why the hell are you eating cheese puffs in bed at 2am
Me: shhh... I'm sleep walking
@PaperWash: *Takes ex girlfriend's poem on Antiques Road Show*
Sir these are worthless
*Winks at camera*
Told you Karen!
@KeetPotato: never trust a person who says they don't like chocolate, even dogs eat chocolate and it kills them