@0point5twins: I choose toothpaste NOT recommended by dentists… those sneaky tooth-fiddlers have a lot to gain from promoting one that doesn't work.
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@OfficialMizGin: Cologne companies have no clue what really attracts women. If they did, every bottle would smell like doughnuts.
@shutupmikeginn: I just walked in on two coworkers crying in a conference room and I was like, "mind if I join?"
@VodkaThursday: There's a lot of mountains high enough to keep me away from you. You see that Everest mountain? Ain't no way I'm climbing that for you.