@0point5twins: I choose toothpaste NOT recommended by dentists… those sneaky tooth-fiddlers have a lot to gain from promoting one that doesn't work.
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@BuckyIsotope: The ending for Toy Story 3 only Andy sells his toys to get weed money and makes a bong out of Mr. Potato Head.
@dubstep4dads: *counting sheep before bed* *jesus walks in your room* "I noticed there weren't any black sheep. what's up man. we gonna have a problem?"
@notimetobehere: I want my funeral to be invitation only. There are people I don't want to be around even if I'm dead.
@thestlouisan: A young cephalopod breaks from the school. Swimming mightily, he strives to avoid becoming calamari. He has [looks at camera] squid goals.