@OhNoSheTwitnt: I consider myself Christlike in that I refuse to believe my parents ever had sex with each other.
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@furbyburglar: I never scrape my back window so when I back out of parking spots I let Jesus decide if I'm gonna kill anyone
@NYC_Blonde: Boys are cute how they're all "I like girls that don't wear heavy makeup" and "get down from that tree near my window or I'll call the cops"
@LibelousLurker: My kids can't play at your house because they might begin to think laundry doesn't live on the couch.