@Dr_powpow: I could be wearing a onesie right now, you don't know.
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@MariyaAlexander: If diamonds are a girl's best friend how come diamonds never drunkenly make out with me?
@AimeeHelene1: My CW just barked. Ok, it may have been a burp, but I'd like him a lot more if he were turning into a dog, so I think he barked.
@LinajkReturns: So much mascara her eyes got stuck in the closed position. Too bad lipstick doesn't work that way.
@Dirty_Naomi: I sleep with a knife under my bed in case I can't open my midnight snacks. It also comes in handy if people try to steal them.