@Dr_powpow: I could be wearing a onesie right now, you don't know.
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@SatansTongue: The Catholic Church is selling bath bombs! *puts Jesus Christ limited edition bath bomb into water* *water turns into wine* Thank u Jesus
@qwertying: Like a true gentlemen, I always put women and children first. I hate walking into spiderwebs...
@daviddeweil: If The Bachelor was realistic they'd ask each other where they want to go out to eat and then never make a decision.
@TheHyyyype: [Arkham Asylum] GUARD 1: that guy's CRAZY *gestures to Joker's cell* JOKER: *using Bing instead of Google* GUARD 2: *whispers* holy shit