@LuvPug: I could probably survive about a week in the wilderness eating only the food I spill on my shirt any given day.
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@Khanoisseur: Preferred way to connect with me (ranked most to least): 1. Text 2. Twitter DM 3. Email 4. Phone 5. Climb through my window 6. LinkedIn
@bobvulfov: [getting out of prison after 10 years] GUARD: *handing me a paper bag* here are ur things ME: did none of u monsters feed my tamagotchi