@silvertongue37: I could survive 3 months in the wilderness with a pocket knife and the contents of a woman's purse.
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@lisaxy424: If you're offended by anything on my TL, whatever you do, do not look at the rest of the internet.
@HatfieldAnne: “Service Dog, Do Not Pet.” We're sure this means me? Should we ask the dog? We should ask the dog.
@sameverlark_: Joe: Hey Barack, why does Trump wanna ban preshredded cheese Barack: Joe please Joe: TO MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN Barack: I swear to God
@adamallday: I like my meth labs like I like my girlfriends: highly unstable and locked in my basement.