@Awk0Tacoo: I covered my boyfriend's laptop in melted cheese and now he's really mad at me. I mean, what did he expect when he asked for Mac and cheese?
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@djr_102: I broke up with a girl once by leaving a note on the front door that simply said: "Love doesn't live here anymore, and now, neither do you."
@bourgeoisalien: serious question: when someone's telling you a horrible story and they're crying; how long should I wait before take a bite of my corn dog?
@_Bankrobber_: "Weltengesichtpfeifenschuldigung" is the German word for "accepting as a fact something you've just been told without bothering to check".