@RowanElHossary: I cried during that sad part of Titanic, when Rose threw that beautiful diamond in the ocean.
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@SamGrittner: Life is what happens when you're busy choosing a filter for what already happened in life.
@sandjoeman: I love when people tell me they'll "see me in hell" as if I'm not gonna weasel my way out of those plans too.
@aligarchy: SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: would you like your receipt? ME: no thank you i don't want any proof that i've eaten here
@krisv_723: You don't care when my dog does it, is not an acceptable explanation for shitting on your neighbor's lawn. I know this now.