@ceejoyner: I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@johncheese: I want to hire someone to wake me up each morning by bursting into my room and yelling, "Get dressed and grab your gun -- they found him."
@AsgardianRose: If you take your antidepressant prescription to the pharmacy in your wedding gown while sobbing incoherently, they will fill it instantly.
@samuelhlowe: - Baby, do you think I have too much makeup on? - That depends. Are you gonna try to kill Batman?
@Xoolun: My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with bodybuilding. I could feel the weight lifting from my shoulders.