@Not_From_Troy: I cry when I cut my carrots because I don't want my onions to feel awkward.
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@Coolisiana: Give me one reason why I shouldn't pass this math class "You held up 2 fingers just now" Ok then give me that many reasons
@david8hughes: "So what kind of comedy will you be doing for us?" "The usual, self defecating." "Ha, I think you mean deprecating." "Think all you like."
@DannyZuker: Based on their level of excitement, bros in beer commercials seem unaware that you can pretty much buy beer anywhere.