@BrettDruck: I dated a 21 year old for 3 months before she looked up from her phone and realized I wasn't Tobey Maguire
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@Book_Krazy: [Spelling bee] Your word is Monogamous. M-O-N-O-T-O-N-O-U-S *2 Judges stare at each other* 1st judge *nods* 2nd judge: "We'll allow it"
@realHamOnWry: According to the most current magazine in this doctor's office, every home in America will have a television by 1962.
@Writethatdown12: Trainer: "ok, lets warm up 1st....wait, where are you going!?" Me: "tanning bed"