@Abby__Rose: I dated a guy who always kneeled and prayed before sex. I still don't know if he was scared of what I'd do or thankful. Either way, amen.
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@LADaddy: There's an alternate universe where we are together and finally happy. And I probably forgot to take out the trash there, too.
@panmidwest: [pulled over] ME: Ok, don't let him know you're an alligator COP: Sir, step out of the car & walk in a straight line ME: [exhale] thank God…
@GavinProbably: Facebook- You: Going to a concert tonight! Friend: Sweet, what concert? Aunt: WHAT IS ITUNEZ?????? HOW IS YOUR DAD????? I LOVE YOU XOXOXO