@Abby__Rose: I dated a guy who always kneeled and prayed before sex. I still don't know if he was scared of what I'd do or thankful. Either way, amen.
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@stats_canada: 66% of Canadians were unimpressed with "The Revenant", or as it's known in Canada, "Pretty Average Day"
@Jay_FrickinLynn: [During Interview] "Do you have any questions?" - Yeah, inTitanic why did Jack sink when he died but everyone else floated?
@squirrel74wkgn: *cuts down perfect Xmas tree* Me: What do you think kids? Kids: Yay!!!!! Wife: It’s beautiful Neighbor: ...what are you guys doing in my yard?