@KentTheG: I dated a meteorologist once just so I could be with a woman who wasn't right all the time.
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@MauriceBlitz: I want to invent a nap time machine, which is a time machine that takes you to times you could've napped and didn't.
@jjlob7: I don't need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hands. :/
@Jesssicle: Some of you take selfies from so close up, I'm beginning to wonder if you're a T-Rex.
@samfromks: Nice try Jehovah's Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to come to my door.