@KentTheG: I dated a meteorologist once just so I could be with a woman who wasn't right all the time.
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@SteveSuckington: [GOP Debate] MODERATOR: this question is for Senator Cruz. How will you handle zodiackillersayswhat? CRUZ: what? MODERATOR: I knew it!
@CulturedRuffian: Chef 1: You can't serve cake for breakfast, moms won't allow it. Chef 2: What if we fry it in a pan & pour syrup all over it? 1: GENIUS!
@SCbchbum: Before sprinting towards the elevator, ask yourself, “Am I hot enough to make them hold the door?”
@louisvirtel: You can always predict what antigay protesters will say. But never how they'll spell it.