@KentTheG: I dated a meteorologist once just so I could be with a woman who wasn't right all the time.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@freypalm: [comedy club] Worm: And what’s the deal with dandelion stems? Right? Right?! Other worms: *silence* Early bird: *cracking up*
@pixelatedboat: Is there something I can hang around my neck to show that I'm a big fan of crucifixions?
@ch000ch: the first guy to ride a horse was all like GIDDYUP HORSEY and the horse was all like DAMMIT WHO TOLD HIM THAT MAKES US GO
@Vodkantots: Well well well. If it isn't old Saint Nick trying to slide down this chimney after ignoring my texts for a year.