@UnicornSyrup: "I decided I wanted to be a ninja so I googled "Ninja School", followed the link and the page could not be found. Well played, Ninja School"
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@shkeeber: Do you hate yourself? Do you wish someone would trip you down stairs? Do you enjoy lacerations & and surprise vomit piles? *hands you a cat*
@Storminika: Me: 'Why are you going through my phone?' BF: 'Do you have something to hide?' Me: 'I'm gonna have a body to hide if you keep it up.'
@shutupmikeginn: Can't wait for the first bad thing to happen in 2017 so I can post "what is this, 2016?" Ha! Today an on duty seeing eye dog growled at me.
@captainkalvis: CRIME SCENE me: four dots in his neck, i suspect two vampires british officer: what about that bloody fork me: this is no time to eat sir