@UnicornSyrup: "I decided I wanted to be a ninja so I googled "Ninja School", followed the link and the page could not be found. Well played, Ninja School"
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@Cravin4: Me: I don't think Grinding Dory is appropriate for the kids. Wife: I said FINDING DORY & we need to discuss your internet usage.
@FormerGrunt: When I die, just toss my body out of an airplane flying over NYC while wearing a superman costume.
@SteelFontana: I'm going as "Twitter Elite" for Halloween. I'm going to randomly say unfunny things and not talk to anyone who speaks to me.
@SCbchbum: Lady next to me in 50 Shades pulled out her glasses & asked if she missed the good part. I said no, the credits weren’t rolling yet.