@BlairLoudly: I decided to watch The Conjuring alone in a dark apartment and now I'm not allowed to make my own decisions anymore.
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@brunopieroni: I left my Kindle on the train. This would have never happened if I was carrying 8 bookshelves full of books with me like in the old days.
@TheTweetOfGod: If what people thought of you, what you thought of yourself and who you really are ever met, the three of you wouldn't recognize each other.
@austen_420: Rules for meeting a puppy: 1 be cool 2 pet it 3 do not steal it 4 stop running from the owner 5 put it down 6 this isn't worth jail time