@BlairLoudly: I decided to watch The Conjuring alone in a dark apartment and now I'm not allowed to make my own decisions anymore.
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@KalvinMacleod: GUY 1: a bee flew in my eye GUY 2: I just ate a bird GUY IN BACK: I can't hear u TOGETHER: there must be a better way NARRATOR: windshields
@ChipKellysBalls: To celebrate Boxing Day on Friday, I had a five minute training montage and beat the shit out of the biggest Russian I could find ...
@TheToddWilliams: [Eating ribs at BBQ Joint] "Would you like a Wet-Nap?" No thanks, I had one this afternoon.