@wankcity: I definitely could NOT be a surgeon. blood freaks me out when I'm high
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@primawesome: A lady just walked into Taco Bell, dumped every hot sauce packet in her bag and left. I should follow her. What's the rest of her day like?
@ibid78: The year is 2072. Numbers have lost all meaning. It could be 3247 for all they know. "It's 5486," says one guy, but it could've been 8 guys.
@clevinniej: Wife: ok, you have free reign to decide on all household decisions today... Me: *too shocked to move or decide anything...*
@bridger_w: The general rule is that you shouldn't ride an elevator during a fire, but I mean, talk about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity