@ieatanddrink: "I deleted that tweet because I've really grown as a writer in the past 7 minutes and it's just not up to my current standards"
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@bobvulfov: WAITER: how was everything ME: [rubbing belly] so delicious. thank u WAITER: great. please stop rubbing my belly
@BangMyBongo: Some say Obama is the biggest liar of all time.. I say, the person who chose the spelling of, "Colonel" is the biggest liar of all time
@occupied_stall: I just saw a woman walk out of the pizza place with 8 large pizzas. Stay with me I'm gonna live stream my proposal..
@Tups13: I hate when I think of a great tweet and discover someone did it already. It's like that time I invented the wheelbarrow.