@Not_From_Troy: I did a survey and asked 5 women what kind of clothing brand they preferred. The 5 responded: "How the hell did you get into my house?"
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@FilthyRichmond: If you're not supposed to abuse cough syrup then why does it come with a little plastic shot glass?
@AnOrangeSNES: [Snow White sees her doctor] Snow White: How bad is it, Doctor? Doc: Damn it I told you I'm a mine worker not a doctor. It's my name, idiot
@a_olivia4212: We have a saying in Germany. It is better to have loved and lost than to engage in a land war with Russia in the winter.
@3sunzzz: H: Well, the remote was definitely broken, so I went and bought a new one. Me: H: Oh, and it came with this 75" television.