@Not_From_Troy: I did a survey and asked 5 women what kind of clothing brand they preferred. The 5 responded: "How the hell did you get into my house?"
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@OwensDamien: I don’t think Major Tom was much of an astronaut - Ground Control had to tell him to put his helmet on, FFS. That’s pretty basic stuff.
@TheTweetOfGod: People keep asking Me why I created mosquitoes. To bite you repeatedly and give you malaria, that's why.
@BillArrundale: Tell a woman she has cute kids and she's all proud. Whisper it to her and she calls the cops.