@Tw1tter_K1tten: I did laundry for 7 miles according to my Fitbit that I accidentally washed and dried.
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@fro_vo: Doctor: you're never too old to start exercising Me: cool thanks i'll start in maybe like 15 years then
@InternetHippo: What should we call this portable computer? SOME GUY: Laptop [everyone applauds…w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer]