@MermaidintheUSA: I did squats today. Mostly because I was hiding from a coworker.
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@upsidedowntrash: [1st Day working at Hotel California] Guest: Id like 2 check out Me: Sure! Youre all set! G: Thanks! [Leaves] Boss: Can I see u in my office
@poutinesmoothie: *bends over to pick a four leaf clover but gets struck by a falling ACME safe before doing so*
@HeyZeus666: I don't suffer insomnia like most tweeters do. I always get a solid 7, maybe 8 minutes of sleep every night.
@crylenol: *Jesus emerges from tomb* Wow was that 3 days? Holy cow. I was marathoning The Wire. You guys seen this?