@MermaidintheUSA: I did squats today. Mostly because I was hiding from a coworker.
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@ParentNormal: 3yo: I want to help! Me: You can help by being quiet. 3yo: Me: 3yo: I want to help in a different way!!!
@joshgondelman: If you want to rob a white person, just say: "Stop, collaborate, and listen," then steal their stuff while they rap the rest of the song.
@GavsonNZ: To the account who followed me while I slept and then unfollowed me before I woke. My apologies for taking a break. It won't happen again!
@ChrisEdCaruso: Good cop: where's the body? Bad cop: answer him! *pounds table* Jenga cop: God damn it!