@trevso_electric: I didn't flan on getting divorced and now my wife wants custardy and she's pudding our kids in the middle :(
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@tigersgoroooar: Online guy: wanna chat I’m 9 inches Me: i’m 5′8′‘ you would barely reach the middle of my shin how could we hold hands on our wedding day
@primawesome: Attack today with a positive attitude. Absolutely destroy it with good vibes. Murder its family with hope.
@Ideal_Victoria: Me: *scratches another tally mark into these prison walls* Boss: stop damaging the office walls!