@jilleb163: I didn't realize how many of the songs on my iPod are about sex and drugs until I hit "shuffle" in a car with a 12-year-old in it.
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@carlyken: Most guys propose with a diamond but if you're really smart give her an onion ring that way if she says no you still have a snack.
@theshamingofjay: A group of lions is called a pride. A group of my family members is called an embarrassment
@shutupmikeginn: women love to see the veins in a man's arm. it shows he runs on blood, and not something more sinister
@TechnicallyRon: Can we stop calling it 'Breaking news' and start calling it 'bloody hell what now'