@jilleb163: I didn't realize how many of the songs on my iPod are about sex and drugs until I hit "shuffle" in a car with a 12-year-old in it.
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@That_Damn_Duck: One last time... It’s ‘a lot’ not ‘alot'! It’s that simple. Tomorrow we’ll cover thermonuclear fusion & the works of Voltaire.
@johnnyw1981: As I lay my phone down to sleep, I pray my brain won't think of tweets. If I die before I wake, I pray and hope my phone to break.
@michaelianblack: All those guys who refuse to marry their girlfriends until everybody has the right to marry must be shitting their pants.