@PanicRestroom: I didn't say you are fat, I just said that going out with you feels like going on a double date
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@TheToddWilliams: [spelling bee] "Your word is stupid" ME: Well give me a different one then "No, that's your word…stupid" ME: Maybe you're the stupid one
@abrianmc: I covered my gf with dough and raisins and put her in the oven to annoy her. Hell hath no fury like a woman sconed
@_Shizzle: They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".