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@NJPsychDoc: I dig my own Grave.
Adds Inter-ior designer to Resume.
@LetMeStart: 8yo, as I read her a fairy tale at bedtime: WOW your chin is hairy.
Me: ...so the witch threw the overly-observant kid in the oven. The End.
@shutupmikeginn: my idiot dog just ate a box of condom. i was gonna eat those buddy
@MrFornicator: People who say gays are destroying the fabric of society have obviously never seen what a gay man can do with fabric.
@BeingTwiter: What's a burnt pizza, frozen beer, & a pregnant girl have in common??
In each scenario, there's a dumb guy who didn't take it out in time.
@salamingia: A U2 album so shitty, even Android won't give it out for free.