@JermHimselfish: I do a spot-on impression of a man in his 30's not living up to his full potential.
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@RtrJan: My kitchen drawer was stuck but my husband got it open. I guess all it needed was a big jerk.
@GringoBrulee: HR: Do you know why we called you in here today? Me: I'm not taking off my Batman suit, sir.
@Jandalize: I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they're 21.