@JermHimselfish: I do a spot-on impression of a man in his 30's not living up to his full potential.
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@rickkondell: It's nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he's getting hit by a train.
@ebruenig: Gandalf: It is in men that we must place our hope Elrond: Have you seen their tweets
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [at gym] *spends 45 minutes untangling headphones *drops phone, squats to pick it up Phew! Good workout! *leaves
@leahlovescheez: Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills? Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills....