@JermHimselfish: I do a spot-on impression of a man in his 30's not living up to his full potential.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BillMc7: Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn't think of this.
@Michael_Erhart: "I'd like to raise a toast." *Cradles bread in arms, accepting this step into motherhood*
@BriarSlyMalice: I told my kids I'd rather they "pull the plug" than let me live in a vegetative state dependent on machines. So they hid my phone charger.