@IamEnidColeslaw: I do this really cute thing where I yawn right before my girlfriend kisses me so I almost swallow her face
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@Deurb1: Six inches of snow predicted tonight: Is that twitter 6" | | Subway 6" | | Real life 6" | | Or Dan 6" | | Cheesecake
@SirEviscerate: *re-dials* Hey girl, before I come over, did you say you were in a jacuzzi or the yakuza?
@iGreenMonk: I always carry a mushroom with me, just in case my enemy shows up & I need something to make me bigger.