@DadandBuried: I don’t always drink iced coffee, but when I do, it’s because my kids prevented me from drinking it hot so I gave up and added some ice.
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@panmidwest: [texting gf across the table from me so the people we're making fun of won't hear] HER: hahaha ME: i can see you & you did not laugh at all
@thetobbie: Anyway, I heard some "Norwegian black metal" today. Let's just say there's a reason no one ever built cities on it...
@UNTRESOR: Avoid unwanted pregnancies by using the "pull out" method where you pull out an acoustic guitar at a party & no one will have sex with you.