@GBRougecity: I don't believe in reincarnation but damn my dog looks like he's trying to crank over a motorcycle while he's sleeping.
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@whatmaddness: Traffic fantasy: - Someone does something stupid - I give them "the look" - They learn their lesson - The roads are safer because of me
@Cheeseboy22: My son just told me he's changing his clock to military time so he can stay up later. He is not a smart boy.
@shesananteater: Boss: Where'd you go?? Me: I got all the way up front and realized I forgot my pen. Boss: Okay? Me: So I went to lunch.