@SaraESpivey: I don't call it "laziness." I call it "selective participation."
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@trentistweeting: ME: [at a party] hey! wanna come back to my place and- GIRL: hook up? sure! ME: [sadly putting away two Yu-Gi-Oh! decks] oh. awesome
@Reverend_Scott: "My Ex is amazing in all ways. My Ex is smarter, more successful, and more attractive than I am." - bumper sticker I put on my Ex's car
@TheRealPacino: President Donald Trump falls to his knees, he clasps the strong bronze tanned hand of Don Corleone, and kisses it;…