@Carbosly: I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.
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@Cheeseboy22: I'll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn't just put the dots in shape of the actual letters.
@InternetHippo: COP: The killer wrote a message on the victim's mirror ME: You can't prove it was me COP: It was written in Dorito dust ME: I want a lawyer
@Mike_Bianchi: Sometimes I run alongside trains, tearfully waving, just so people will think I have a girlfriend.
@electroskippy: [installing program] Operation Status: 1 min left Me: Yes! Finally! *30 minutes later* Operation Status: 60 mins left Me: Wait. What?