@SeanInCypress: I don't claim to know what happens inside the dishwasher, but I'm guessing that it's like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.
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@oothikicha: Guy: you've been a bad girl. Girl: yes baby, punish me. Guy: OK. *burns all her shoes*.
@Brampersandon_: *zips up tent* [Wife]: What happened [Me,scratched up & clothes ripped]: I was uh.. *flashback to me being chased by a bee* wrestling a bear
@JakeDuarte43: Auto correct is like when a 3yo kid wants to help wash the car.its a nice gesture but really its just slowing shit down! :)
@Bizarro_Mark: Do not tell a kid you didn't understand his joke unless you have 4 hours free to hear the explanation.