@SeanInCypress: I don't claim to know what happens inside the dishwasher, but I'm guessing that it's like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.
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@Kyle_Lippert: If asked 'Whats up?' respond 'An animated film about the journey of a boy & an old man' then wink & fly away carried by hundreds of balloons
@daemonic3: Cop1: Has becoming a father affected your work Cop2: Not a bit Cop1: Ok cover me, I'm going in Cop2: HI GOING IN I'M DAD [both get shot]
@SteveSuckington: If you tell me I can only have sex with your sister over your dead body, your funeral is going to be awkward for some of your family.
@mattwhitlockPM: This girl tweeted "You might be ghetto if you bring outside food into the movies." ...No, you might be stupid if you pay 4.99 for Skittles.