@mishakey: I don't come into YOUR bathroom and tell YOU how to tweet.
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@papasuncle: Me: Goodnight moon Moon: night. Me: What? Moon: nothing. It's fine. Me: You're acting distant Moon: I'm 238,900 miles away
@JoleenDoreen: When you get to Customs and they ask if you have anything to declare, "Thumb War" is not the answer they were looking for.
@Jake_Vig: THEM: Hey-- ME: Ring ring. I gotta take this. THEM: I just watched you say "ring ring." ME: Ring ring. Yeah, this is really important.
@AthenaMystique: Dear Google Maps, Don't insult me by telling me to head "southwest". If I knew where southwest was, I wouldn't be using you. Kthnxbye