@MakesYouGiggle: I don't draw my eyebrows on because I can't commit to one facial expression. What if I see a puppy? What if my house burns down?
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@StephenBCramer: I installed a mirror in front of my toilet so that when I run out of things to read I will have someone to talk to.
@TheReal_AndyMac: When a woman says, "We need to talk", it's no good. Never has a woman said, "We need to talk" and followed it up with "about pillow forts".
@Midgetspar: On a scale from 1 to 10 I tell people they're an 11. It's a fun way to let them know they don't exist and they take it as a compliment.
@House_Feminist: (Man hobbles into grocery store using a cane) 5: HEY MOM THAT MAN IS USING A WALKING STICK BC HIS BONES AREN'T STRONG & HE'LL DIE SOON RIGHT