@AntozWolf: I don't get it. Rock beats scissors but no one says shit about running with them.
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@TheRohiniReddy: I want to have kids before my parents are too old to be able to take care of them.
@Coolisiana: (Job interview) "How would you describe yourself?" I'm very vague "Ok, can you be more specific?" No
@MelShutUp: Wow thank you so much for whistling at me, guy in Walmart. I've never felt more beautiful.
@OtherDanOBrien: [Lady is being robbed] "Help, Social Media Man!" [Social Media Man swoops in & creates a facebook page called Mugging Is Bad]