@tastefactory: I don't get Roomba commercials. Like who spills an entire box of cereal on the floor and is like eh leave it for the robot to clean up
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@sarah1mc: I should probably see someone about my mental health, like a drug dealer or bartender or something.
@ManiacallySound: I seruptitously flicked a booger on a guy who was being mean to his wife. If this is what being a sniper feels like, I like it.
@chadchaines: "I just can't wait to hear the audible gasps of amazement from everyone who enters my house." -Me after spending 6 minutes cleaning
@Marcmywords2: "You think I'm smart, right?" Not tonight baby, I'm too tired to fight. Annnd that's how the fight started.