@juliussharpe: I don't get why everyone talks so fast in old movies. What was the hurry? There was nothing to do back then.
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@Cryptoterra: Does anyone know how to save your game on twitter I've been playing for 2 years straight my mom is pissed
@AndyAsAdjective: I can't prove it, but from the sound of it, I'm pretty sure there's an injured dolphin stuck in my dishwasher.
@kelkulus: The American flags on the moon have been bleached white from 44 years of solar radiation. If aliens ever attack, we've already surrendered.
@jonnysun: ME: [in santa costume, covered in chimney soot] that was hard. how does santa do it WIFE: well santas not real, hun ME: [drops cookie] WHAT