@juliussharpe: I don't get why everyone talks so fast in old movies. What was the hurry? There was nothing to do back then.
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@eeethanford: Me: Did it hurt when you fell from Kevin? Friend: Yes, because Kevin's friggin tall and sucks at giving piggy back rides Kevin: bro
@DitchPony: people who ask you to take your shoes off before you come inside just want to use your socks to clean their floors as you walk. don’t fall for their trap. don’t be a mop.
@giftedrascal: I just found out my mum didn't know how to set the clock on their new microwave. So they stayed up until midnight & then plugged it in
@NOTVIKING: date: i hate pet names me: [trying to recover as i was about to call her a cutie pie] same.... comrade